so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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