look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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