I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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