Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
