i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
