If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Barsexuality is the new black.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
