You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
