Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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