why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm having to shit out rocks
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