I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
