Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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