Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The adults are the big ones right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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