1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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