We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
