Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
