Your face is a jimmy john
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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