I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
