question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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