Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize