Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
