don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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