You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm bleeding and have questions
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
