I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
