i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
