He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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