My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So many bounce houses so little time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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