i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
