its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
