who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Barsexuality is the new black.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
