so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize