Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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