it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
