I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't deserve a penis
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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