WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
