We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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