why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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