Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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