It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
