youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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