hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just pee around me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
