Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize