this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize