You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
