Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
