and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
