i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
