New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
