I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it was like eating out sand paper
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
