You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
