Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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