i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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