it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
