Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
