I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
