I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize