Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
