Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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