Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
pop tarts are not kleenex
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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