Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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