I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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