I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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